Winter

Is beautiful. Today after I left Jesse's, I decided not to go home and just drive. I drove down past my old high school, then on a road that was a straight away through trees upon trees. I didn't want to turn around, but I knew my tires probably couldn't handle it. It was such a nice hour long drive, it would have been nicer if I had some company.

I like how my parents were arguing this morning to the point that it woke me up. Yet now they're being all nicey-nice. Yet I don't go to dinner and my mom decides that's a good reason to ignore my existence? Cool.

"Did you know you have a special way of
Turning around my terrible days?
You make all the bad things go away
The second that you say, hello."

Dear Jesse,

"Everytime I see your smile
it makes my heart beat fast
And though it's much too soon to tell
I'm hoping this will last

'Cause I just always wanna have you
Right here by my side
The futures near but never certain
At least stay here for just tonight

I must have done something right
To deserve you in my life
I must have done something right along the way

I just can't get you off my mind and why would I even try?
Even when I close my eyes I dream about you all the time

And even if the moon fell down tonight,
There'd be nothing to worry about to worry about at all,
because you make the whole world shine
As long as you're here everything will be alright."

iloveyou.

Got My Ipod Stuck on Replay

So, two exams down. I really don't know how I did on either them. I either did good or really bad. Eh, I hate having to choose between two extremes. Theatre was today.. took me twenty minutes. That kinda scares me. : / And Spanish is tomorrow, but I haven't studied that at all. I've just been sitting here on the internet killing time. I've had like no human interaction today. : (

I got in a fight with my mom about moving out today. At first she thought it was an okay idea and was cool with it. Now she's saying if I move out, I have to pay for my own car insurance and won't help out. It's not fair. I told her that living at home was definitely not an option because of her and dad. They're constantly fighting and there's so much negative energy in that house I can't stand it. I'll make it happen. I'll get a job over the summer and not spend a dime of it. Then once I get a part time job during school, I can use my summer money to pay rent and bills and shit. I also have 2k in the bank that will help. My parents need to stop being so fucking pessimistic.

Anyways. Girl's night tomorrow. : ) Amandalyn is staying in Charleston with me until Wednesday and Ariel should be here for at least one night, hopefully more. Getting pierced, don't know where, sometime this week. Industrial maybe, but I'd rather not get ripped apart by my parents. So maybe just second holes. It sucks I'll be in Charleston for so long though. I want to see Jesse. : ( I'm falling so fast for that boy, it's crazy. He's absolutely perfect.

"when the days are long and the thunder with the storm can always get me crying. well you can make my bed, i'll fall into it, shattered but not lonely. 'cause i never knew a home until i found your hands and when i'm weathered you come to me you're my best friend."

Absolutely Cuckoo

"Don't fall in love with me yet
We only recently met
True I'm in love with you but
you might decide I'm a nut
Give me a week or two to
go absolutely cuckoo
then, when you see your error,
then, you can flee in terror
like everybody else does
I only tell you this cause
I'm easy to get rid of
but not if you fall in love
Know now that I'm on the make
and if you make a mistake
my heart will certainly break
I'll have to jump in a lake
and all my friends will blame you
There's no telling what they'll do
It's only fair to tell you
I'm absolutely cuckoo"

You're one of a kind, ya know that? You make me smile.. a lot. I like spending time with you, and talking to you, and thinking about you, and us. And all that good stuff. I like how I am so comfortable around you, and how sweet you are to me. You make me tater tots and hot chocolate. :) I like how you call me baby. I like your cats, especially when Gizmo comes to cuddle with us. Starburst kiss! I even like you when you make fun of my chin, or you try to tickle me. I wish I wasn't so far away all the time so I could see you more. I like standing on my tippy toes to kiss you, awuuh. Like I said the other night, please don't leave. I like where this is going, no.. I love where this is going.

You're mine, I'm yours. Fap fap.

You want to know why I know you're the best one for me?

Because after acting like my complete self around you, you still somehow find me appealing.

Even after being a bitch to you (most of the time in a joking manner) you still want me around.

Your sense of humor is my favorite and I like how I don't get embarrassed around you.

You don't judge me for calling you when I'm drunk and crying.

Three hours you stayed on the phone with me. :]

And I like how when I tell my best friend things that you say, she says things like, "You guys would be so cute together!"

And I know that this is right. Just please, promise me you won't keep me waiting long.

"Tell me, how does that feel?
With a grand canyon between me and you
And tell me how does that feel to see
Me waving gooodbye?"